literature

EWW Muckfoot in 5 or more minutes

Deviation Actions

MysteriousGirl92's avatar
Published:
460 Views

Literature Text

Everything Wrong With Muckfoot in 5 or more minutes (spoilers) (obviously)


Knuckles: Well, I've finally got a cool place to lay my head every night.

Me: But what if it rains? (ding) Also, aren't you at least a bit worried about catching a cold? (ding)

Knuckles: Plus, I get to eat all the berries I want.

Me: You wouldn't normally go around eating unidentified berries to satisfy your hunger. Wait, why am I talking to Boom Knuckles? (ding)

Sticks: Eating strange berries is nice and all...

Me: No it isn't! Anything could happen. ANYTHING! (ding)

Sticks: ...but aren't you afraid of... Muckfoot? Legend says, "He walks this very jungle, a swamp monster covered in vines leaving behind mossy footprints wherever he roams".

Me: You guys are in for a surprise later on. (ding)

Tails: Who wants to join me in a night of patiently watching the stars slowly creep across the sky?

Me: With the way you structured that sentence, I don't think anyone would want to. (ding) A better way of putting it would be, "Who wants to go stargazing with me"? (ding)

Tails: Well, if I discover a new star, I'm totally naming it after myself.

Me: Good luck with that. (ding)

Tails: Mossy footprints? [sees 'Muckfoot']

Me: Some of you may know who this is. I highly doubt this episode will pull a Scooby-Doo on us. (ding)

Tails: Muckfoot... is real?

Me: That's definitely something a genius would say. (ding) Discount A-Team theme. (ding) [sees Eggman wearing clown makeup] NIGHTMARE FUEL! Brought to you by the It trailer. (ding)

Tails: Eggman, why are you wearing clown makeup?

Me: To make kids wandering in the middle of the forest wet themselves? Or maybe he just wants to become It. (ding) [hears a cat meowing] Does someone bring a cat into the recording studio? (ding) [Tails yawns] That doesn't even sound like yawning. (ding) [sees a photo of 'Muckfoot'] Tails, you might want to use a better camera for this. (ding)

Tails: Today, I'm here to tell you... Muckfoot is real!

Me: YOU. DON'T. KNOW. THAT. (ding) [Tails tries to pull the cloth off, in the same style as Designated Heroes] FLY above the cloth, you idiot! (ding) Putting your foot on a cloth that you're trying to pull off doesn't make it easier! (ding) It's a good thing you remember exactly where 'Muckfoot' is. Otherwise, where would you go from here? No song pun intended. (ding)

Old Monkey: I always suspected Muckfoot would be a blurry, unintelligible mass.

Warthog: That's all the prove I need.

Me: Groan. (ding)

Soar: It's all thanks to a discovery by Tails the Fox.

Me: I thought his name was Miles 'Tails' Prower. Wait, is this show declaring that saying forenames and surnames is forbidden? (ding)

Soar: He's no longer second banana.

Me: I'm not even going to make a 'Luigi' Snake Codec joke out of this. (ding) Also, you mean to tell me that from the very first episode of the first season, he has ALWAYS been 'second banana'? (ding) [Tails gives her his autograph and shrieks as he returns the photo] All right, calm down. (ding) Also, most autographs don't look like that. (ding) WHY would ANYONE take a photo of an unintelligible photo? (ding)

Tommy Thunder: Tails!

Me: Not you again. (ding) We now bring you Muckfoot Hunters, the show where people exaggerate their stories because... they can. (ding)

Tommy: I'll shoot it with my bow and arrow.

Me: Don't you mean, "Tommy will shoot it with his bow and arrow"? (ding)

Tommy: You folks at home witnessed the closest contact ever recorded of Muckfoot.

Me: But it seemed so far away. I'm... just gonna let my brain do a Johnny Gioeli singing impression of those words. (ding)

Tails: Tommy Thunder explained it to me: lying's OK if it's done on television.

Me: Thanks for breaking it down for us. (ding)

Sticks: What happened to you?

Knuckles: Must've have gotten a sunburn from the moon.

Me: Groan. (ding)

Sticks: That doesn't make any sense. This ain't moonburn season.

Me: So, do you or don't you believe in moonburn season? (ding)

Sticks: I bet he got scorched by Tommy's arrow. Knuckles is Muckfoot!

Me: Huh, so the not-so-sane one figured it all out. Judging from the title card, one would believe that she believes in Muckfoot since she was the one who brought it up. (ding)

Tails: ...there's a logical explanation: in this case, it's that there's a mythical monster roaming the forest and Knuckles had a completely unrelated moon-based injury.

Me: You're right about one thing: the moon injury is unrelated. (ding) [Knuckles yawns] Again, that doesn't even sound like yawning. (ding)

Tails: Every time Knuckles eats these berries, he immediately falls asleep. It appears they induce a sleepwalking side-effect.

Me: So, the berries can turn someone into a somnambulist? (ding) [Knuckles fall into a deep pond] Bye, Knuckles. [Knuckles gets out] Groan. (ding)

Mayor Fink: ...senior muckfootologist...

Me: 'Muckfootologist' is not even a word. It's like having a doctor saying you have a severe case of... public speaking-itis. (ding)

Sticks: I ain't gonna rat you out because I know you'll do the right thing.

Tails: ...Muckfoot... is 100% real.

Me: So much for doing the right thing. (ding)

Tails: Keeping him alive in their minds is my way of being a hero.

Me: Sigh. (ding)

Tails: Hey, it's a victimless crime.

Sticks: What about those suckers buying that phoney 'Muckfoot' junk?

Tails: OK, it's a victimless crime except for the victims.

Me: How does that even work? (ding)

T.W. Barker: For just a small fee, you can take your take your picture with Muckfoot, and for a large fee I'll let you keep that picture...

Me: Surely this is robbery, right? (ding)

Tails: ...Berker has him.

Me: His name is Barker. (ding)

Sticks: Who wants to go get some 'za?

Me: One, who are you talking to? (ding) Two, are you trying to get out of the 'best way to man's heart is through his stomach' stereotype? (ding) And three, "'za"? (ding)

Amy: What about Knuckles?

Me: Exactly. Why do you care about food more than you care about your friends? (ding) [Sticks picks up a cell phone] Why are you using a cell phone? I thought you hated technology. Oh, that's right. If Buster doesn't count as technology, neither does a cell phone. Give me a break. (ding) Knuckles thinks he's surrounded by monsters, moving on. (ding) Sonic says something which causes robots to show up, moving on. (ding) Tails accidentally squashes some berries and gives Sonic an idea to put the enemies to sleep, moving on. (ding)

Females: Boo. [plays a disappointed Toad voice clip] (ding)

Tails: So much for me being a hero.

Sonic: [from another episode] You are a hero, Tails. (ding)

Amy: You did the right thing.

Sticks: Eventually.

Me: I agree with Sticks. (ding) Huh, so Muckfoot is real after all. (ding)

Sin Tally: 57
Sentence: Echidna rescue mission failure 
Tails: This is all my fault.
My take on Everything Wrong With Muckfoot.
© 2017 - 2024 MysteriousGirl92
Comments0
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In